I second this from @blogdiva, all of it.
I’ll add: I’m extremely fortunate that my parents are another such example. Watching them all these years, I learned something crucial that I think is not obvious when you haven’t had such an example for such a long time. That kind of relationship doesn’t just come magically. It’s never for free because true love is so powerful or whatever. It’s •work•.
Not work like pulling teeth. Work like tending a garden.
One of the most pernicious literary tropes is the tale of true love — the princess story, the romance, the rom-com — that puts finding The Right Person at the •end• of the story. The end?! That’s just when things get interesting!
@inthehands I just broke out into song: the final number in Bernstein's "Candide."