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Welp, my #router's #LAN ports seem to have packed in. They're all reporting "A-OK over here, nothing to see", but try connecting anything to them and suddenly they're all "None shall pass!"

I've checked that it's only, and all, the LAN ports.

Luckily I already had a new router which I'd been commissioning leisurely like with a view to moving to #VDSL. This adds a little urgency to that effort.