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Doc Impossible

One of the magical things about being trans and out it that, just by existing, you're going to help other people figure out how to embrace that part of themselves. We're everywhere! But... we're often pretty scared.

So, what do you do when someone asks you for help questioning their gender?

This week on , it's a guide on Being the Big Sib, so you can help them without hurting them, or yourself, in the process.

stainedglasswoman.substack.com

Stained Glass Woman · Being the Big SibBy Doc Impossible

@Impossible_PhD oh this is very relevant to my interests, as the lolcat says...

@Impossible_PhD The timing of this... is impeccable.
Thanks for summing it up.

@Impossible_PhD I started tearing up a bit as it felt like going back to the first day I started HRT, wanting to find a way to repay you for helping me find myself, but not knowing how.

Thanks a million times over, Zoe. This is amazingly well timed for my six month milestone this weekend as a reflection point, both for how far I've come, and how much there is to do still.

@Alys like I said in the article, Alys: it brings me great joy to help people in this way.

@Impossible_PhD Thanks for this one! My post on Friday did the numbers and I got another 🐣 in my DMs. It's crazy being the person with answers given that I was the person too scared to ask just 2 years ago. 😅

@faithisleaping It's wild how quickly that happens, huh?

@Impossible_PhD
This is some timely info!
I do feel a responsibility to "pay it forward" and help as best I can while trying to do the least harm.

Thank you for mentioning that some people are beyond our level of expertise to help.

Having met one person like this, it's crushing to know that nothing one can say will help but being an unwitting participant in someone else's self-harm has a significant cost to mental health if you don't catch on to it quickly enough.

@Impossible_PhD Aside to the story's main point, the fetish parallel you bring up in the introduction is very much part of my experience. It's interesting to feel seen in that fashion, let's leave it there.

@Impossible_PhD First, scattered thoughts; I'm thinking of how I did my questioning and deciding mostly on my own, before finding community - wonder if things would have been smoother otherwise... weirdly it wasn't crushing getting there, but that's a big sidetrack and I suspect I'm atypical (no right ways) Second, rule 4 and 5 are hard for me but probably you know.

💜

I think one other thing for me personally is always stressing that some of my answers are just perspective and my only...

@Impossible_PhD... authority comes from maybe being further along or having thought of stuff they haven't yet... but that they'll find their own answers that may be different.

Come to think of it I've mostly run into others who've hatched but are trying to figure out parts of "now what", which, so am I.

Have some more thinking to do; thank you as always.

@Impossible_PhD
:heart_trans:
There isn't a heart icon big enough to express how I feel about this article. I had to duck down behind my monitor briefly because I happy cried a bit after reading "If you want to be a [gender]... You’d be surprised at how many people just need to hear that one line." because that brought everything into focus when you said it to me. 💜 💜 💜 Thank you, yet again, from the bottom of my heart.

The description of the egg prime directive made me think back to the time I came so close to discovering who I was, seventeen years ago. A lot happened that made me run back into the cave, but in particular I think I may have looked directly into the sun when I wasn't ready. No one told me anything I wasn't ready for. But if I could run away from myself for that long after coming so close to seeing who I was, the last thing I want to do is instigate someone's internal conflict.

There is one form of "therapy" that I think we can provide: listening. A coworker of mine is going through some difficulty right now, and I know that sitting and listening to her as she verbally processes her situation is extremely valuable. Just being there and giving someone your undivided attention helps validate their feelings, whatever they're going through. But of course I wholeheartedly agree that for any significant situation, it's very important to suggest the appropriate resources, whether that be a therapist, a doctor, a lawyer, or another professional.

This article was well timed because I might have a junior egg in my circle of acquaintances. They're very good about open communication, so I hope I can help them see what path lies before them.

@Impossible_PhD That's how I found you. Via reddit posts on R/Transgender. I still see your posts from time to time. I'm very glad you do that. That story about meeting that girl was so sweet.

@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io Maybe I should read that. Currently I'm more of that one aunt that is a riot, witty, and encouraging at the afternoon coffee table, and a more literal riot with dangerous flames in the eyes and flaming words on the lips by the after dinner whiskey.