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Company: We have a monolith!
Me: ...
Company: *holds up diagram of 8 services, 15 databases, and a home grown queue implementation*
Me: You fucked up a perfectly good distributed system is what you did. Look at that thing, it's got clock skew.
@hazelweakly Here for when we move to “microliths”
@hazelweakly more databases than services is 
@WilliamCaryHall to be fair this is supposedly an example :)
Although I wouldn't be surprised if that number was higher especially if you're counting replicas, backups, high availability, and more.
In fact, you probably *should* have more databases than services if you have a "monolith", because it's so much harder to guarantee isolation and uptime and reliability if non-local traffic can affect the entire setup
@WilliamCaryHall @hazelweakly Better than multiple services talking to the same DB
@noam @WilliamCaryHall why-not-both.jpg
@hazelweakly Hours later, I'm still thinking "look at that thing, it's got clock skew" and laughing.
@whereistanya I was irrationally proud of that line
@hazelweakly Rightfully so! 
@whereistanya @hazelweakly
You're laughing. It's got clock skew and you're laughing.
@hazelweakly this has all happened before and it will happen again
@renice Ka is a circle, and so is this dependency graph
@hazelweakly my last shop had dozens of microservices for each client! ... all coupled to the same database table.
@hazelweakly oh, and not one server per client. Nor one database per client on a single server. One database with a Postgres "schema" (namespace) per client, which meant that any ALTER TABLE that went wrong anywhere would deadlock the entire system. For everyone.
But it was "scalable" because Kubernetes.
@istathar this is brilliant, and webscale. I love it
@hazelweakly @istathar please cw the word webscale I have never fully recovered. But seriously the amount of people that think the cloud and/or kubernetes is just automatic infinite scaling is, frightening
@hazelweakly yeah but it's all one repo
@hazelweakly Ouch. It me.
@hazelweakly “Look at that thing, it’s got clock skew” is officially my favorite evaluation of a system
@hazelweakly I'm gonna throw back to this set I cobbled together a while back.
@hugo this is a fantastic set, I love it
@hugo @hazelweakly i love it but i can’t get past centralize/decentralize being the wrong way around compared to all the others
@rfc6919 hah, fair play.
@hugo @hazelweakly excellent, it reminds me of this one for business strategy: focus - diversify
Never write documentation outside of comments.
It tilts your hand. Now people know that, once upon a time, a thing was designed.
AND THEY'LL DESIGN IT AGAIN.
Engineering: We made a CPU!
Security: You cursed perfectly innocent sand into thinking is what you did. Look at it, it’s got an entire Spectre of anxieties!
@hazelweakly Needs a hard-set non-UTC timezone dependency too!
@hazelweakly I honestly cannot wait for microservice architecture to die. Time really is a circle
@robinsyl @hazelweakly yeah, right, nano services architecture is the future, services must be written as a single line of perl!
@hazelweakly "My God, it's full of nodes!"
Oh. God.
Are there numbers on the amount of people who leave the geek trades as part of their transition?
Asking for a, er, me.
@JuliaRez it's definitely non zero 
But that's probably more due to so many women leaving tech by 35 from discrimination
@hazelweakly clock skew and a clocks queue.