I second this from @blogdiva, all of it.
I’ll add: I’m extremely fortunate that my parents are another such example. Watching them all these years, I learned something crucial that I think is not obvious when you haven’t had such an example for such a long time. That kind of relationship doesn’t just come magically. It’s never for free because true love is so powerful or whatever. It’s •work•.
Not work like pulling teeth. Work like tending a garden.
One of the most pernicious literary tropes is the tale of true love — the princess story, the romance, the rom-com — that puts finding The Right Person at the •end• of the story. The end?! That’s just when things get interesting!
We’ve raised generations of people to endure abuse and misery convinced that True Love makes it all OK. (How many rom-coms are basically stalker dramas? How many could easily end with a murder instead of a kiss??)
We’ve raised generations to believe everything will take care of itself if only they find the Right Person. (“Love means never having to say you’re sorry?!?” WTF?? Love means saying you’re sorry even when it’s not your fault, because the relationship is more important than your ego!)
@inthehands Watching Blade Runner 20 years later I cringed at the kiss scene as it was quite forceful. Showed me how *my* sensibilities have changed, which is a good thing.
Still an amazing film, by any measure.
@andreimoment
A lot of those old-school kissing scenes have an element of force and domination that is extremely uncomfortable. In Blade Runner, it seems to me that ugliness actually fits with the structure and themes of the movie. Nothing in that movie is meant to sit right.
@inthehands I agree. It’s a regular rewatch for me. The Final Cut of course.
There are many imitations but nothing touches its lo-fi atmosphere and soundtrack.