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Jack, Digital Expat

@ernie Never used them but I did MY OWN RESEARCH so I don't need to. I am descended from Peeps and the gooey center from chocolate Easter eggs. And an aunt from Guatemala. She was born in Queens which explains my slightly New Yawk accent.

No, I don't. I have a unique speech impediment for the hearing impaired which makes me sound like a British Keanu Reeves sucking on an inhaler.

@msbellows will back me up. He knows me from way back, when we were young rascals on bikes with banana seats.

/If 23andMe still has my data, they are welcome to it. Exploit me. My genes are a gross stew with carrot chunks. I am genuinely astonished my skin tone is what it is. It aint right.

//I burn like an Irishperson with weak melatonin and Icelanders are afraid for me when they meet me. Conan Obrian offered me his concealer. It's WhiteOut(tm).

///I lied. I am a lying liar who lies. Or...am I?

@digitalexpat @ernie I'm afraid you have one thing wrong. Our Guatemalan "aunt" WAS a Queen, not FROM Queens.