It’s so telling that #TimWalz is “redefining” American masculinity. The guy’s a stereotypical macho man—veteran, hunter and football coach—but the fact that he’s also a nice dude makes it a paradigm shift.
He isn’t known for his baking or knitting skills. We’ve just come to associate masculinity with being a dick. #Election2024
Periodic reminder:
* Black men see themselves as more masculine than white men
* White men see Black men as more masculine than white men
* Black men are significantly overrepresented in the NFL, NBA, fighting sports, the military, etc
* Black men are more likely to care about the environment, wear a mask, hug their men friends, participate in childcare, etc
https://hachyderm.io/@mekkaokereke/112117180594047944
"American masculinity," is a euphemism for a very specific white US concept of masculinity.
49% of Black men view themselves as "very masculine." I view myself as very masculine.
I didn't need to wait for Tim Walz to tell me that it's OK to hug your friends and tell them you love them, or to be present in childcare, or that it's fine to buy feminine hygiene products for your partner, or that wearing a mask is OK, or that we should care about other people, or that the environment should be protected.
And I'm not unique. This is typical Black dude stuff.
@mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland I wasn't blessed with black skin, but at least I seem to have adopted the black male version of masculinity. I never knew giving your friends hugs, telling them that you love them or being an involved parent was considered "unmasculine".
To me that just sounds like being a d**k.
Yup. Black men don't have a monopoly on non-self destructive views of masculinity, or on caring about other people.
Even within white people, the US has a particularly noxious stew of "masculine" definitions vs EU, that lead to even worse outcomes:
* Car culture (less walking/biking -> less human contact and interaction)
* Longer work hours -> less time for social activities
* Gun ownership
* Physical contact or emotional support between same sex peers discouraged
1/N
Some people are surprised that American men are lonelier than European men. But I'm looking at this and wondering, "How could we not be?"
Living alone in an apartment, with a big truck, an AR-15, and not a single close friend, working long hours at an unfulfilling job? Is that the American dream? Whose dream is that? Not mine.
The definitions and "rules" of US white masculinity make no sense to me. They just hurt the people that apply these rules on themselves.
2/2
@gabriel @mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland I was thinking about my family tree recently, and none of the male role models I’ve had on either side of my family have fit the traditional societal view of masculinity. Now, at 45 looking back, I consider myself lucky to have had those role models. They were all masculine, but they displayed sensitivity, sentimentality, and empathy, so I grew up knowing these traits were okay for men to display.
@ramsey @gabriel @mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland
my Dad was Malaysian Chinese, and very traditionally masculine in many ways (similar to 1970s British standards, not surprising having grown up under colonialism then migrated to London), so he didn't show much emotion and had usual interests like cars, DIY, tech but was always respectful to women, kind to animals and never grudged putting £10 in the donation tray at church (at a time when as a family we weren't as affluent) >>
@ramsey @gabriel @mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland
its hard to describe but although it didn't seem like we were that close and we had conflicts over my decisions and lifestyle choices in 80s/90s, he always tried to be a good father, put across a fairly positive image of masculinity even if it seemed aloof at times and I still learned a lot from him (its kind of like a tomcat who stays with and raises his kittens, many Siamese and Asian breeds will if allowed)
@ramsey
@gabriel @mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland @risottobias
I know I have a small view of society but while the "traditional" white masculinity I grew up around was bad enough, I feel like the most toxic parts have been growing over the past few decades.
The men I grew up around didn't show softer emotions in public so much but they were definitely sentimental and sensitive and didn't think those things were bad. Just private.
@ramsey
@gabriel @mekkaokereke @JoshuaHolland @risottobias
And there was always plenty of hugging among friends and family.